dead

we awoke with the sunlight through your window. you had your arm reached across my stomach and your head nestled between my shoulder and my neck and you asked
'are you still tired'
and even though my eyes were shut
i answered with 'no' and we layed without talking.
later
you got up and handed me my clothing
and said 'it's like you're afraid to look at me' and i couldn't do anything but ask
'afraid to look at you?'
without meeting your gaze.

and i'm dead to you now.