rum

»Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!«

Rum is a tasty adult beverage full of spice and bite, and it warms your mouth first, then your throat, then your esophagus and finally your stomach.

After about three glasses of rum and Dr. Pepper (better than Coke, unless you're drinking one of those tropical spiced rum varieties), you get a little bit happier.

I recommend rum to all of humankind – with rum we can have world peace!