Germany

Germany came to the English Midlands this Christmas – in the attractive and traditional form of the Frankfurt Christmas Fair in the centre of Birmingham. Now, why on earth weren't Goering and the Luftwaffe thinking along similar lines sixty years ago...Think of all the decades of friendship and mutual admiration that we missed as a result of mistaking the efficacy of Xmas decorations and lovely warm gluehwein for that of cold bombs and rockets.

Thirty years ago, one was not considered truly educated, especially in the sciences, if one did not speak German. Today German is still a fine language, but – like Danish, Dutch and Greek – spoken only at home among friends, being replaced by ubiquitous English.

in germany there are hedgehogs. they are called igel, they eat currywurst from the streets, (not the igel) but the man. in germany there are many kinds of small bread called broetchen. they have seeds and sometimes are tied in knots. in germany the strawberries are really good. in germany there are many kinds of beer. and spargle grows in the spargle season. it gets longer each time i go there. don't forget to peel it. in germany, it is all about meat. meat meat meat and no mustard. people are very open minded and all love each other with selfless passion.
in germany some people don't eat vegetables. in germany it is ok to have gingerbread on your wurst at christmastime. in germnay you can also burp and people don't think that is particularly rude. in germany there is quite a bit of accordian playing, but they don't like to admit it. in fact, some people run away from the street side accordian players. in germany there are many people who say oh, i can't speak english, but do so perfectly. in germany you can eat a lot of good food, and gain a lot of weight. in germany you can stay slim by biking and walking everywhere as there are many sidewalks and bikeways to accomadate that lifestyle. in germany artists are considered very important people, unless you are a painter. there are not many painters in germany at this time. in germany you can live up north and not wear lederhosen. in germany you can live in bavaria and not say tschuss.
in germany there are many different small cars such as smarts and twingos. neither of these however are made in germany. they also are rarely found in the left lanes of the autobahn. in germany i found love.

Another funny thing about Germany is the fact, that it is allowed to consume THC and every crappy town has got his own head shop, where you can buy anything you need even to zip your coke off the mirror, but it is strictly forbidden to own, buy or sell the shit ...

how many germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
none. they march into poland and make them do it

I am from germany, yet i've been told to not love germany. Loving one's homecountry is something germans can't afford, for we still are reminded of our past every day. I am a memeber of the third generation of young germans that still have to carry the burden of guilt. It sucks to listen to the same old Nazi jokes in every chatroom i enter. The same old jokes, made by americansthinking that Paris is the capital of Spain or that we don't know what a television is and stuff. We listen to the same old shit every day.Most of my friends are what you would call »foreigners«. We here in Germany hate foreigners, don't we ? So I suppose I will have to kill my friends ? ..... Someday this crap will be over ! Someday europe will be what europe was meant to be, a country without borders, with open minded people and the remains of our past will be nothing but a threatening reminder of what fascism can do ! Yeah, thats basically what I wanted to say... Sorry for my english.