German

Do you know the german alphabet? There are thirty letters:

a (ä) b c d e f g h i j k l m n o (ö) p q r s (ß) t u (ü) v w x y z

ß is a special german letter. It looks like a »B«
but actually it's an old combination of »s« and »s« or »s« and »z«. So it's called »ess-tset« (»ess« is the german name of »s« and »tset« the name of the letter »z«). (It's similiar to »w«, which is also an old combination of two letters: »double u« or »double v«!)

ß is pronounced like english »s« (in »mouse«) or »c« (in the word »ice«), e.g. groß (»big, great«) = »groce«, beißen (»to bite«) = »bicen«. (German s is pronounced normally like english »z«, and german z like »ts«.)

When a short vowel is followed by a consonant in German you use »double consonants« (bb, ff, ll, mm, etc.) Instead of kk you use ck, instead of zz you use tz, and instead of ßß you use ss.
So »groß« is pronounced with a long »o«, but »Boss« (»boss«) is pronounced with a short »o«.

Stefan was telling a story, but we weren't really listening. »... and then a wolf came down from the mountains and ate a German.« »What,« we said, »ate a human?« »Not human,« he sighed. »GERMAN.«

Germany produces fine automobiles, guns, cameras, wine, and of course beer (and many other wonderful products, I'm sure).

There are forms of punishment, that may not be appropriate to deliver the desired results. But corporal punishment is a no nonsense success story. It’s an unalterable and proven fact, that men who were often and heavily beaten as boys, are not only less reliable and prosperous, but also much more unattractive and ugly then men, who never felt the convincing force of a stinging cane on their bare wrinkled old buttocks.

If you are interested in this language, let me tell you that what is called RoundRobin on this page on the German page is called Fortsetzungsgeschichte.
But if you are more interested in English click on »RoundRobin« and find a continuing story.

I do hope that my english isn't so bad, but i wrote an A in the last test! And according to an Website of some-english-speaking-institute i achieved the Advanced Learner's level.
By the way, i'm German and i don't wear leather-pants (Lederhosen) (hope this word exists in english)