STONED

I have too much to do right now to get stoned, and the sunlight is far too bright for my eyes even without any drugs at all. I will have a little toke (well, maybe even a larger one) when the day is done so that my sense of beauty is enhanced when I watch the sun go down...

MANDY:
Oh, come on, Brian, or they'll have stoned him before we get there.
BRIAN:
All right.
MR. CHEEKY:
Hey. Get off her. That's disgusting. Stop trying to do that. Hey, officer, intervene here. Attempted rape going on. It's the
chap with the big nose's fault. He started it all.

MANDY:
Ohh, I hate wearing these beards.
BRIAN:
Why aren't women allowed go to stonings, Mum?
MANDY:
It's written. That's why.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Pssst! Beard, madam?
DONKEY OWNER:
Oh, look. I haven't got time to go to no stonings. He's not well again.
[hee-haw hee-haw]
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Stones, sir?
MANDY:
Naah. They've got a lot there, lying around on the ground.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Oh, not like these, sir. Look at this. Feel the quality of that. That's craftsmanship, sir.
MANDY:
Hmmm. Aah, all right. We'll have, uh, two with points and... a big flat one.
BRIAN:
Could I have a flat one, Mum?
MANDY:
Shh!
BRIAN:
Sorry. Dad.
MANDY:
Ehh, all right. Two points, ah, two flats, and a packet of gravel.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Packet of gravel. Should be a good one this afternoon.
MANDY:
Hehh?
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Local boy.
MANDY:
Oh, good.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Enjoy yourselves.