Telephone

Lots of things have opposites. I don't think »Telephone« is one of them.

Eno H. Pelet

When I was a kid, the telephone stayed in one place; it did not follow you around the house. I want to know where my appliances are at all times, thank you. I am not ready for that Trilogy of Terror moment.

How can you detest Graham Bell for creating telemarketing by indirectly creating the telephone? The telephone is not a crapulent invention, instead, it is perhaps the most influential invention in human history. Think of how, despite appearing insignificant and commonplace, a telephone is important in your everyday communication. Better to have your dinner interupted than to hear too late of some interesting example I am too lazy to contrive. Think people! Think! Argh.

Why is it that the wrong number on a telephone is never busy?

the last of the beer drained
the end of countless cigarettes
credit cards tapped out
empty baggies of yesterdays lunch
the sigh of a world condemed to be inhabited by humans,
a cellphone rings in the distance

The telephone is the greatest nuisance among conveniences and the greatest convenience among nuisances.

I have a cellular telephone.
My company pays for it. Otherwise, I would not have one.
I abhor it. My wife says that it's a great thing to have, but I think that
people have gotten along fine without them for thousands of years.
Napoleon got along fine without a cel phone...well, he probably could
have used one at Waterloo...bad example, but I NEVER use it when I am
in the car, because that's just fucking insane.