Telephone

Lots of things have opposites. I don't think »Telephone« is one of them.

Eno H. Pelet

When I was a kid, the telephone stayed in one place; it did not follow you around the house. I want to know where my appliances are at all times, thank you. I am not ready for that Trilogy of Terror moment.

The telephone is the greatest nuisance among conveniences and the greatest convenience among nuisances.

Why is it that the wrong number on a telephone is never busy?

I have a cellular telephone.
My company pays for it. Otherwise, I would not have one.
I abhor it. My wife says that it's a great thing to have, but I think that
people have gotten along fine without them for thousands of years.
Napoleon got along fine without a cel phone...well, he probably could
have used one at Waterloo...bad example, but I NEVER use it when I am
in the car, because that's just fucking insane.

How can you detest Graham Bell for creating telemarketing by indirectly creating the telephone? The telephone is not a crapulent invention, instead, it is perhaps the most influential invention in human history. Think of how, despite appearing insignificant and commonplace, a telephone is important in your everyday communication. Better to have your dinner interupted than to hear too late of some interesting example I am too lazy to contrive. Think people! Think! Argh.

Have you ever tried to think up new kinds of ice cream that no one has ever thought of before, like chicken and telephone ice cream? Green mouse ice cream was the worst. I didn't like that one at all.

-paraphrased from the words of Delerium