Misery

Yes, sir, doctor, I know as well as anybody that you´re a mighty busy man, but this here business about that husband of mine a-losin´ his manhood is life or death, that´s all there is to it. This can´t wait a minute longer, or he´s liable to do something desperate to himself. He ain´t the kind of man that can take a thing like that like it was a plain ordinary misery somewhere in him, no, sir. He´s always been broody and headstrong, and the way he sets around a-mutterin´ to himself and a-glarin´ at the gun over against the wall and a-pindlin´ away like he´s a-doin´, I´m scared to be around him. You ain´t got any notion how deep a thing like this takes ahold on him. Yes, sir, impotency. Well, the first time we noticed it was along yesterday afternoon, and then a couple a times last night, and again this morning...

MENTAL MISERIES: TRUE OR FALSE TEST

Answer the following statements by circling true or false.

1. I believe others cause my feelings. T F

2. I'm always telling myself I »should« do this or that. T F

3. I constantly criticize myself. T F

4. I think I must do everything perfectly or not at all. T T

5. I'm always apologizing for one thing or another. T F

6. I feel like I'm carrying the world on my shoulders. T F

7. I'm really hard on myself when I make mistakes. T F

8. I bend over backwards to please others. T F

9. I »scare« myself into action by imagining horrible things
that will happen if I don't do something. T F

10. I tend to look on the negative side of things. My glass of
water is always half empty instead of half full. T F

11. It's hard for me to forgive and forget. If someone hurts
me, I tend to cling to that feeling. T F

12. I often feel helpless. There are so many things in life I
can't do. T F

.

MENTAL MISERIES: MAKING THE GRADE

Give yourself one point for each »true« answer on the test. # = ______

# Points Results

1-3: You generally feel good about yourself. Keep up your
positive way of thinking.

4-6: The mental miseries may be gaining on you. Take time to
renew your positive traits.

7+: Challenge yourself to change your way of thinking.

.

Read the following information to take a closer look at some of the attitudes behind each of 12 the misery makers. Turn around
sour thinking! Seek out the resources and information suggested to enhance positive thinking and achieve greater
self-understanding and awareness.

Misery Maker #1: Do you believe others cause your feelings? Do others »make« you feel guilty about things?

Turnaround Mentality: You create your own feelings and make your own decisions. People and events do not cause
feelings, but they can trigger your mental habits. You may wish to empower yourself with more information about relationships
and communication skills.

Misery Maker #2: Are you so conscientious in your self-improvement efforts that you never miss a chance to remind yourself
what you should or should not do? »I should have studied more.« »I shouldn't have eaten so much.«

Turnaround Mentality: »Shoulds« don't get the job done. They're just a way of punishing yourself after the fact. Guilt and
shame don't produce much action; mostly, they drain your energy and discourage you. More information about realistically
achieving peak performance may help you.

Misery Maker #3: Are you a relentless critic, always finding fault with the way you look and feel or the way others act
toward you? Do you nag yourself and others, especially those you care about?

Turnaround Mentality: Replace criticism with encouragement. Encourage yourself and your friends rather than criticizing
them. Give a compliment or a pat on the back. Visualize the positive and achieve what you want. Read more about improving
self-esteem.

Misery Maker #4: Do you believe that you must do everything perfectly or not at all? Do you sacrifice fun in your life to
achieve every goal?

Turnaround Mentality: Perfection is a high goal to aim for; don't insist on starting there or even arriving there. Do your best
and then accept it. You can enhance your life performance and have fun, too. Seek out help to deal with your perfectionist
tendencies.

Misery Maker #5: Do you assume you are to blame whenever someone is upset? Do you often ask yourself, "What did I do
wrong?" If your roommate or significant other is in a bad mood, do you feel responsible for it?

Turnaround Mentality: The person who is upset »owns« the problem. Stop apologizing and accepting blame. Everyone has
the right to have angry feelings, but you don't have to feel guilty. Recognize that interpersonal conflicts can be healthy, leading to
constructive change and deeper understanding. Strive for emotional wellness with yourself and your relationships.

Misery Maker #6: Do you »steal« responsibility from others? Do you feel responsible for the happiness of another person?
Do you take on other people's responsibilities, then get angry when they don't appreciate all you've done for them?

Turnaround Mentality: Stealing responsibility from others only cheats them out of a growing experience. Learning to deal
with the consequences of one's behavior is part of being an adult. Seek greater self-responsibility and self-determination. Make
some lists to clarify your own needs and wants. Remember, the world has many shoulders to carry it.

Misery Maker #7: Do you call yourself stupid if you make a mistake? Do you call yourself a failure if you slip off your diet or
skip a test review session? If your mistakes are pointed out to you, do you feel as if you are under attack and become
defensive?

Turnaround Mentality: You're only human, so treat yourself with kindness, not abuse. Allow yourself to make mistakes and
then forgive yourself. Move ahead with a positive attitude; take time to laugh at yourself. Explore the healing power of laughter.

Misery Maker #8: Are you a compulsive people pleaser? Maybe you need the frequent approval of others and forget to give
yourself approval. Do you make sacrifices and then get mad at yourself?

Turnaround Mentality: Give yourself permission to decide you're doing the best you can. Don't wait to hear it from someone
else. Tell yourself you're doing a good job, and ask for encouragement when you need it. Do something extra nice for a very
important person – you!

Misery Maker #9: Do you motivate yourself with fear? Fear and scare tactics may get your attention, but they won't last long
as far as motivation is concerned. You may end up feeling anxious and unhappy.

Turnaround Mentality: Motivate yourself with choice, not fear. Visualize success and make decisions that fit with that image
of success. For instance, picture yourself succeeding at a task and think of the satisfaction and good feelings you'll have when
you meet your goals. Learn more about effective self-assertion.

Misery Maker #10: Do you interpret events and comments in a negative light? If your friend says "Your hair is looking good
today,» do you ask yourself «What was what was wrong with it yesterday?"

Turnaround Mentality: You do have a choice, so choose a positive interpretation. Accept a compliment! Look at temporary
setbacks as opportunities for growth. The positive appraisal will help you maintain your energy and give you an improved
outlook. Encourage positive selftalk from those inner voices.

Misery Maker #11: Do you hang on to painful memories? Do you dwell on bad feelings to justify your bad mood? If
someone doesn't say they are sorry, do you stay mad at that person?

Turnaround Mentality: The only part of the past that affects you is your present interpretation of it. Only you are in charge of
that. Try to reinterpret these past events in a positive way. Forgiving is helpful and, at times, is necessary to move forward.
Don't forget to forgive yourself, too.

Misery Maker #12: Do you coach yourself into believing you can't do certain things or deal with change?

Do you frequently hear yourself saying or thinking »I can't«? If you say this often enough, you will soon believe it. It will become
a self- fulfilling prophecy and you will feel more powerless and out of control. Turnaround Mentality: Believe in yourself and
realize that you are a capable person. Give yourself positive, encouraging statements. If your goal requires a response or
approval from others, you revert to feeling helpless and feel out of control. Work at feeling good about yourself and become
more self-reliant. Seek help when you need it.

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE. . .

All of these messages reinforce the fact that you are responsible for yourself. Your happiness (or your misery) depends upon
what you tell yourself, how you treat yourself, and how you interpret your world. It's an inside job. So, take the challenge! And,
take advantage of the following resources for your benefit.

Nature worsens poverty

"Everyone is aware of the environmental problems of global warming and deforestation on the one hand, and the social
problems of increasing poverty and growing shanty towns on the other.

»But when these two factors collide, you have a new scale of catastrophe.«

Dr Heiberg says the number of people needing help from the federation's member societies because of floods and earthquakes
had grown in six years from under 500,000 to more than 5.5 million.

The report says that falling soil fertility, drought, flooding and deforestation drove 25 million people from their homes last year.
Many of these environmental refugees joined already fragile urban squatter communities.

The Misery of Law: The Rights of Roma in the Transcarpathian
Region of Ukraine

The European Roma Rights Center announces publication of the report, The Misery of Law: The Rights of Roma in the
Transcarpathian Region of Ukraine. In response to reports of the systematic mistreatment of Roma by both regular and special
police, the ERRC carried out several fact-finding missions in 1996 and 1997 into the human rights situation of Roma in
Transcarpathia, a region situated at the borders of Hungary, Romania and Slovakia. The Misery of Law is the result of this research.

The police in Transcarpathia have devised a so-called »prophylactic« policy aimed at crime prevention. Roma are the sole targets of
this policy. The first element of the police prevention policy involves Roma with criminal records; all Roma who have been in prison in
the last three years are kept on a special list for observation and monitoring. Secondly, all over Transcarpathia, the Roma in general,
and especially young Romani men living in communities, have recently been subjected to forced registration and fingerprinting, often
following collective arrests. Third, monitoring raids are carried out on whole communities for a variety of purposes: searching for
specified or unspecified suspects, checking local residence permits, or for simple intimidation. Finally, ghettoisation is promoted,
the ghettos are raided and collective arrests are made. As one police officer told the ERRC, "There are special troops for controlling
Gypsies. What we have achieved is that Gypsies live in camps-- concentrated."

Elements of the »preventive« policy delineated above were evident in varying degrees in all urban and most rural communities that the
ERRC visited. More disturbing still is the fact that they are mandated by Ukrainian law; among the duties delineated under Article 10
of the Ukrainian Law on the Police, police are required to perform »administrative surveillance« of »people inclined to commit crimes«.
In combination with the widespread belief that Roma are inherently criminal, this duty can be seen as a blank check to the constant
harassment and violations of security of home and Romani individuals by the police.

The Ukrainian judicial system has, to date, failed Roma. Widespread due process problems plaguing the investigative and trial
stages prevent Roma who are charged on the basis of questionable police tactics from getting a fair hearing in court. Police employ
abusive tactics in order to apprehend suspects and secure evidence-- usually in the form of a written confession of guilt following
arrest. Roma are then charged, at least partly on the basis of misconduct by law enforcement officers. Criminal trials of Roma are
marred by excessive reliance on these post-arrest confessions, inadequate scrutiny of claims of coercion, poor or non-existent
interpretation during courtroom proceedings, and restrictions on the right to prepare an adequate defence. More broadly, a
combination of factors-- widespread and deeply ingrained prejudice, overweening prosecutorial power, a tradition of excessive judicial
deference to state authority, abusive police methods, narrow conceptions of the role of criminal defence advocates, and the inability
of many Romani defendants properly to defend themselves in courts where language is a barrier-- has conspired to make Roma
communities a virtual pipeline of men into prison.

Additionally, the Ukrainian judicial system is, at present, incapable of remedying police abuse through the prosecution of the
responsible officers or compensation for the victims. Legal mechanisms for redressing police abuse have yet to prove themselves:
the ERRC could not discover any case in which a police officer had been held accountable in a court of law for mistreatment of
Roma. Although members of the police, prosecutor's office and judiciary uniformly trumpeted the judicial system's capacity to
examine allegations of official misconduct fairly and impartially, the observations of the ERRC did not substantiate these claims.

Regular invasion of Romani settlements and the subjection of Roma to special measures by the police, the evident powerlessness of
Roma before Ukrainian courts and at other Ukrainian authorities, and the legal vulnerability of the group as a whole have created an
atmosphere of impunity among the police in the Transcarpathian region. Younger, less experienced or more creative elements within
the police force now abuse their power. Such abuse is often linked to public drunkenness by the police and, in two instances
investigated by the ERRC, it resulted in the rape or attempted rape of Romani women by the police officers.

Other themes addressed by the ERRC report on the human rights situation of Roma in Transcarpathia include community violence
and the failure to prosecute non-Roma involved in acts of collective retribution against Roma or police officers who remain passive
during them; the negative effect of land reform on Roma in Transcarpathia; and Roma in the school system.

The European Roma Rights Center concludes its report on Roma in the Transcarpathian region of Ukraine with a series of
recommendations to the Ukrainian government:

1.Carry out full and impartial investigations into allegations of police brutality, including but not limited to sexual violence by
individual police officers, as well as into instances of partiality, discrimination or corruption on the part of local prosecutors.
Those responsible should be brought to justice.
2.Discontinue discriminatory police practices such as »prophylactic« measures against Roma, the intrusive and arbitrary
gathering of information on Roma, and group arrests of Roma absent reasonable suspicion of criminal activity should be
immediately discontinued. New policing techniques should be explored, with an emphasis on community involvement in
policing and close co-operation with the leaders of Romani communities.
3.Thoroughly review police investigative practice. Bring police law in Ukraine and police practices in Transcarpathia into
conformity with international norms on police conduct as set down in the UN Code of Conduct for Law Enforcement Officials
(1979), as well as in Resolution 690 (1979) of the Parliamentary Assembly of the Council of Europe: Declaration on the Police
and the Basic Principles on the Use of Force and Firearms by Law Enforcement Officials.
4.Bring to justice those responsible for incidents of community violence and collective retribution against Roma.
5.Investigate the quality of legal proceedings in Transcarpathia and bring about significant reforms which will ensure that Roma
defendants are secured all due process and fair trial guarantees to which international law entitles them, and that Roma and
other victims of rights violations may obtain remedies on a just basis. Special consideration should be given to the manner in
which legal assistance is afforded to indigent defendants, to the perverting effect of corruption on the entire legal system, and
to ensuring the right of each defendant to: – have the free assistance of an interpreter in court; – have adequate time and
facilities for the preparation of his defence; – examine, or have examined, the witnesses against him and to obtain the
attendance and examination of witnesses on his behalf under the same conditions as witnesses against him.
6.Promote transparency and due process in disciplining of public officials.
7.Carefully review land reform procedures. Implement measures to insure that minority groups such as Roma are not
discriminated against during land-distribution proceedings. The government of Ukraine should take active and significant steps
to prosecute instances of discrimination.
8.Devise, in co-ordination with Roma organisations and Roma leaders, schooling strategies which ensure safe and integrated
schooling for Roma children.

The European Roma Rights Center is an international public interest law organisation which monitors the human rights situation of
Roma and provides legal defence in cases of human rights abuse.

European Roma Rights Center
P.O.Box 10/24
- 1525 Budapest 114
- Hungary
- Phone: + (36 1) 327-98-77 Fax: + (36-1) 138-37-27
- e-mail: 100263.1123@compuserve.com