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Quotes from Michael Jackson
...from a tasting at the Brickskellar
posted by John DeCarlo
»You are expected to like bad wine (oh, everyone knows that the 1987 was a terrible year--frost, etc.--so of course the wine tastes bad).«
»Beer may cause you to digress--and lead a happier life«
His philosophy is to »exercise less and drink more«.
»Beer with a little color to its cheeks«
Let's all work to get people to drink more good beer, so "if someone walks into your office and says he drinks Corona, *don't* *immediately* call him a
dickhead."
One of the biggest experts in beer aroma and flavor works for Strohs. »I don't know what he *does* all day.«
Talked about P.U. and how everyone calls their beer a Pilsener.
-They didn't trademark everything back then--»now someone farts and they put a TM after it«
-Even Miller Lite says »A fine pilsener beer« on the label. »It is a crime«.
Big breweries and »dry« »lite« »ice« beers:
»They are full of brewing scientists who have gone wrong.«
»OF course the marketing types have always been wrong.«
»If there are any marketing types in the audience, go throw yourself out the window now, or change jobs«
On »no aftertaste« advertising:
»Did I just have a beer or just breathe in some slightly damp air?«
Goethe was sick and couldn't eat anything, so he was kept alive by the Ko"stricher Schwartzbier.
Talking with Father Thomas at Westmalle on food and wine/beer:
FT: »What wine goes with asparagus?« (Pound on table)
MJ: pause
FT: »None! No wine goes with asparagus! Only our Tripel does!«
About so-called »lawnmower beers«
»I don't have a lawn. You need something substantial after mowing the concrete.«
What's your favorite beer? What is in your refrigerator?
»I have three refrigerators--all full of beer.«
»The postman and UPS and Federal Express bring more beer every day.«
"I bring extras to my neighbors. They used to think it was great. Now it is 'Oh my God, there's Jackson with some more Chimay Grand Reserve--don't open the
door'".
»I'm like the gardener growing zucchini.«
On US perception that UK beer is warm:
»It isn't because there are no refrigerators in England.«
»If you order a Heineken in England (you must be a lunatic) it will be chilled.«
On scary signs in the South (U.S.):
»Last beer before dry county«
»Coldest beer in town«
On cold beer:
Cold beer has more CO2 in solution which comes out in your stomach
»You don't feel bloated with a less gassy beer.«
»Drinking really cold beer is like slapping yourself in the face with an ice pick.« (He did, repeat this a few times, changing the end to »ice block«, but I like the
original version.
His SO is a psychiatrist (or close) and it is apparently a common mental derangement to injure yourself with ice picks and the like. Must be why cold beer is so
prevalent.
On where he lives:
»My house is about equidistant from the Youngs brewery and the Fullers brewery. This is no accident.«
On the use of X for bitters:
»Xs were used because there was no mass literacy--a state we are rapidly approaching once more.«
On the strength of British beer:
It is usually not as alcoholic as standard US beer.
Tourist to MJ:»Then why did we get so shit-faced drinking in London?«
MJ: »Shit-faced, a technical term«
He started his journalism career in a mining town.
»Some miners would have 20 pints after a hard day in the mine.«
(That beer better not be too strong.)
»Now that we sit behind computers all day, this is down to 18 or 19 pints.«
On megabreweries involvement in craft beers.
»Leinenkugels makes better beer now that Miller bought them.«
»It will license insecure people to like craft beers.«
On Reinheitsgebot, etc.
"I don't trust the Germans with their own heritage.
I don't trust *anybody* with their own heritage."
On world beers:
»I can't even *justify* going to South America for beer.«
On Sierra Nevada:
»They have a drink in Texas which is half Bigfoot and half SNPA that they call A Foggy Night in the Sierras«
On homebrewing:
»I've never homebrewed. I'm never at home.«
»I'm too impatient even with cooking.«
»All these UPS parcels keep arriving«
Hope you enjoy these!
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